Shattered
by Foxyinthecity
Summary: A short story regarding John's emotional turmoil and reaction in finding out that Teyla is pregnant. This is dedicated to Mrs. B.


Disclaimer: I do not have any rights or claims to Stargate Atlantis.

Spoiler: Season 4

Episode: Unknown, however it could be any episode after Miller's Crossing

This scene came to me after having a discussion with Mrs. B at Gateworld. I hope you guys like it.

I apologized now for any mistakes I made several changes to this story.

Reviews are welcome!

Shattered

John took a sip from the bottle of Scotch he was holding in his hand. His brows furrowed and his lips pursed as he tasted the warm liquor on his palate. He raised the bottle to his mouth again and took a continuous long gulp of the liquor. The liquor burned his throat, but he did not care. He just wanted to ease that dull ache in his heart. He wanted to forget everything about this day. The liquid inside the bottle was his medicine. He raised the bottle to his mouth again then took another continuous long gulp of the liquid substance and then another until the bottle was almost empty.

John did not know how long he sat there on the edge of his bed with the whiskey bottle in his hand, but he was sure it wasn't long enough. Today, his world came crashing down upon him. Although, living here on Atlantis for the past four years had placed his life in many perilous situations, he knew the dangers of living on Atlantis and accepted them. He has had to make life and death decisions constantly. Some of the decisions he made weren't necessary right or wrong but they were the appropriate or necessary decisions for whatever crisis they found themselves dealing with at the particular moment at least that what he keeps telling himself.

But, if he had known how bad his day was going to turn out, he wouldn't have gotten out of bed today. He thought of the saying, ignorance was bliss. Man, he needed a tall bottle of ignorance right now. When Teyla made her momentous announcement to him, Ronon, Rodney and Sam in Sam's office earlier, he was hoping he had heard something entirely different.

He wasn't sure if he stared at her with disbelief on his face or not, but he had wanted to ask her, "What did you say?" Teyla must have been watching him when she made her announcement because she looked at him anxiously and then she announced again, "I am with child!"

When he finally comprehended the words that were coming out of her mouth, his eyes immediately dropped to her stomach and upward to her face in disbelief. How could he have not noticed the subtle changes to her body and delicate features he thought to himself?

The other reactions to her news were of surprise, happiness and excitement, but never in his life did he feel as though his heart was being ripped out of his chest. And those couple of incidents with the Wraith's Queens did not qualified either. His outward appearance and reaction to everyone must have seem congratulatory as well, but if they only knew at that moment he had wish the ground had opened up and swallowed him whole. He wanted to be anywhere but there!

John lowers his head in his hands. Damn his head was starting to hurt now. He did not know what hurt him more. The fact that she was having another man's child or she kept her pregnancy from them… well from him as long as she did especially after what he thought they meant to each other. Who cares what he thought! It doesn't matter anymore. John felt his eyes watered.

Several minutes later…..

John grimaced his head was really starting to pound. He picked up his feet from off the floor and then slowly lowers his body onto his bed.

Minutes later…

As John was lying on his back staring at the ceiling, he was looking at the abyss that was now his life. He wondered, "How could I look at her without feeling betrayed?" It cut him deep that she did trust him enough to tell him. Teyla was the person he felt the closest to besides Ronon and Rodney. He thought he knew her better. He guessed he did not know her as well as he thought.

John had so many questions and not enough answers. Although, Teyla had described the father of her child as an Athosian and that his name is Kanan and that they knew each other since childhood and that their relationship only recently became more intimate. And now, he was missing along with the rest of her people. That did not dull his new found hatred of the guy any less.

And there was a certain question that was eating at his very soul. How could she have made love with this guy? There was a need in John to know more about him. He did not know how true his words were when he was teasing Teyla that faithfully day about having a hot date when she and Jennifer were on their way through the Stargate to visit Teyla's people on New Atho. The day she learned that her people were missing as well as her lover. He laughed at himself for being right in his assessment and so wrong in beliefs that she would always be there waiting for him.

Suddenly, John came to the realization that Teyla must have found out she was pregnant when she first learned that her people was missing several weeks ago, so that why Jennifer had kept her in the infirmary against Teyla's initial cries of being fine. John's anger flared when he realized how long Teyla has known about her condition and as kept it a secret from him. Teyla has put herself in danger and the health of her unborn child in jeopardy going on their missions and searching for her people. How could she be so reckless? John's fingers clenched as his rage grow.

John knew he wasn't being rational. But he did not care and damn it, he did not feel like being rational. Not when the woman he thought he would eventually… ah… forget what he thought. He thought he knew her! Teyla just took his feelings in her hand and just crumpled it like it was a piece of paper.

John knew everything had to be change. Teyla could no longer continue to go on missions in her condition. "Damn it!" he thought.

John knew his life and his heart will never be the same again.

Several hours later…

John was waking up through an alcohol induced haze, trying to regain his focus. He became aware that someone was buzzing the door of his quarters. He slowly got out of bed to open his door. He ran his fingers through his bed flatten hair. He opened the door as he said, "Yes!" forcefully. John was stunned by Teyla's unexpected present at his door.

Teyla had finally gotten the courage to go speak with John alone. She was nervous because she knew John was upset with her even though he had not expressed his feelings earlier. She then hesitantly responded, "John… I think we need to talk."

John's lips pursed and his eyes blazed with uncontrollable fury. He thought, now she wanted to talk to him!

The End!


End file.
